Stop Negative Thoughts (That Voice in Your Head!) and Change the Way You Feel

Think about a time when you felt very worried or upset about something, and then after a few days or weeks, discovered that it didn’t matter after all.  What made the difference?  Perhaps you talked it over with someone and they put a different perspective on the matter.  Whatever happened, somehow you started to think differently about it, and when you stopped your negative thoughts, you began to feel differently.

The funny thing is that the basic situation did not change – it was just your thoughts about it that did.  This demonstrates a very interesting phenomenon: that it is how we think about something, and the way we perceive it, that affects how we feel about it.

What happens is that our little inner voice has taken a negative turn on something, and is chattering away to us in our heads, giving us all the reasons why this situation is bad or wrong, that we should or shouldn’t have done something, or they should or shouldn’t have done something, or telling us that nothing good will come of it.  On it goes, yada yada yada.  And then, Whoosh!  Someone will come along with a different perspective and you see it in a whole new light.

The way we respond to events, the times when someone lets us down, or we make a mistake, or something didn’t work the way we wanted it, very largely depends on how we think about those events.  What we think very much affects how much we get upset, whether that’s in the form of anger, anxiety, stress or sorrow.

We are very good at making ourselves feel very miserable!  And it’s all down to our negative self talk – the voice in our heads that sits up there and judges our every action, or, for that matter, everyone else’s.

We are constantly interpreting what happens, what someone says or our situations through the filter of that little voice, and quite often what it perceives as the truth, really has no basis in reality and does not work for us.

Of course, our inner voice can be helpful.  It can remind us that we need to work on that report or to phone a friend.  On the other hand, quite often it is self-defeating, negative stuff that tells us we’re going to fail, or that we’re hopeless at math.  It causes us to feel upset, have low self esteem, low confidence, anxiety or frustration.  It perpetuates self-fulfilling prophecies and then uses them for evidence against you: ‘You’re going to fail that exam’, ‘There’s no way you can pass’, ‘See?  You failed’.  Then the next time: ‘You failed last time, what makes you think you’ll pass this time?’

The best way of stopping your negative thoughts is by catching them when you have them.  Recognize that you are having a negative thought, and then become objective about it.  Talk to it if you like: ‘Well, that may be your opinion, but who says it’s the truth?  I’m going to choose a more positive thought.’

Once you recognize that your negative thoughts are not the truth, they will immediately start to lose their power.  Get into the habit of catching them when you have them, and you will be on the way to being in control of how you feel.

You may not be able to completely stop negative thoughts, but you can certainly stop them from having the same power over you that they once had.  Just remember that they are not the truth, they are merely thoughts

How to Free Yourself from Your Inner Critic

We all have a little voice in our heads. We may think of this as our thoughts, or our conscience, or it may appear to be a third party, such as a parent telling us what we should and shouldn’t do. It is completely normal, and we all have an inner voice. The trouble is, much of the time our inner voice is also an inner critic, telling us how ‘bad’ we are, or that we are completely inadequate and unworthy.

The voice in our heads is not trying to harm us. In fact, it started out as a form of protection, making sure that we followed various rules that would keep us safe and socially acceptable. It is, in fact, trying to keep us happy.

Sadly, it doesn’t do much of a good job. We may wonder why, when we have followed all the rules that our ‘voice’ has told us to do, we are not happier and secure. The point is, our little voice is following out-dated rules that may have kept us safe when we were children, but really have no relevance for us as adults.

Our ‘little voice’ does not really know how to be happy. The one emotion that it understands is fear; the fear of what might happen if we break the rules. If we are really under the thumb of our inner critic, we will strongly believe that everything it says is true, and we will spend our lives unable to live the life of our dreams and even with a low sense of self esteem if it is extremely judgmental.

How do we free ourselves from this inner voice, and allow ourselves to live as the person we truly are?

You can start by choosing not to believe that inner critic any more.

OK – that sounds far too easy! I bet the minute you read that, your little voice got very loud and dominant!

The voice will not allow you to get rid of it that easily. The very idea of choosing not to listen to it will create a whole new set of fears and reasons why you should. We have invested a great deal of time listening to our little voice; we have fed and watered it and it has become strong.

Freeing yourself from your inner voice takes time and determination, but by consistently choosing not to believe everything that it says, and choosing to believe new sets of rules that will work more positively for you, you will weaken its power over time.

Be aware of what your voice is saying and then question its logic. It may tell you that you are no good at public speaking, and then throw up a load of evidence to back its claims. But wait, before you give in, don’t you have some evidence to the contrary? What if you told yourself instead, that you are good at public speaking? Don’t you think that over time this would increase your confidence?

Our subconscious does not know the difference between what is real and what isn’t. It will believe whatever you tell it. So instead of allowing your inner critic to rule the house, take charge and start your own inner best friend that will nurture, like you and look after you.

Written by: Emma Fredericks, author of  “How to Tame That Voice in Your Head” – http://answersabouthearingvoices.com

Are You Hearing Voices in Your Head

If you are hearing voices in your head, you will be pleased to know that you are not alone.  That little voice that chatters away at the back of your mind all day – who or what is it and where does it come from?  But, does it mean you’re crazy, or is it normal?

Everyone has some kind of internal dialogue going on most of the time.  You may find that it is at its most loud when you are attempting something new, when you are about to take an exam or go for an interview, or about to go on a first date.  This is when it becomes self critical or judgmental.  But even if we recognize it as something we can do without, it seems very difficult to switch it off.

Most of us, though, carry on our daily lives in the belief that this inner voice is real, and everything it says is true.  We may not even notice it at all.  ‘What little voice?’ you might be asking.  Well, it’s that little voice that just said, ‘What little voice?’

Once you have recognized that there is a voice, this is the first step in actually doing something about it.  You will never get rid of it, but you can learn to not be affected by its judgments, and in time you can even get it to say a few nice things.

So where does this voice come from?  Scientists and psychologists believe that it develops as a child when our memories and reasoning begins.  Until that moment we are capable of living completely in the present moment, but one day, when we are about to throw our breakfast onto the floor, we remember that mom wasn’t very happy the last time we did that.  We remember the words, ‘No!  That’s naughty’’, and we stop ourselves.  The little voice has begun.

The little voice is therefore here to help us.  It protects us from doing something socially unacceptable, and therefore from disapproval and isolation.

The trouble is, at that age we have no idea how to filter the things we learned.  The little voice begins to make all kinds of judgments and assumptions from the things that happen to us.  While its initial intent is to keep us safe, as we grow older, it becomes an inner voice that scolds us for stepping out of line – or even thinking about it.

The voice becomes full of ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’, ‘bads’ and ‘wrongs’.  As we grow into adulthood, far from being the guardian angel that keeps us safe, it becomes a restraining force, a little demon that prevents us from being free.  We may wonder why, when we follow the little voice, it does not bring us the happiness that it initially was designed for.

The first step in releasing yourself from the voice in your head is in recognizing that it is there, and the second step is to realize that it carries no intrinsic truth.  You can then choose not to believe its rules any more.  The voice will not go away, but it will lose its power.

Hearing voices in your head is a part of being human.  Taming that voice and not being ruled by its judgments and rules is the road to being an enlightened human being who achieves their dreams.

Written by: Emma Fredericks, author of  “How to Tame That Voice in Your Head” – http://answersabouthearingvoices.com

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