How to Free Yourself from Your Inner Critic
We all have a little voice in our heads. We may think of this as our thoughts, or our conscience, or it may appear to be a third party, such as a parent telling us what we should and shouldn’t do. It is completely normal, and we all have an inner voice. The trouble is, much of the time our inner voice is also an inner critic, telling us how ‘bad’ we are, or that we are completely inadequate and unworthy.
The voice in our heads is not trying to harm us. In fact, it started out as a form of protection, making sure that we followed various rules that would keep us safe and socially acceptable. It is, in fact, trying to keep us happy.
Sadly, it doesn’t do much of a good job. We may wonder why, when we have followed all the rules that our ‘voice’ has told us to do, we are not happier and secure. The point is, our little voice is following out-dated rules that may have kept us safe when we were children, but really have no relevance for us as adults.
Our ‘little voice’ does not really know how to be happy. The one emotion that it understands is fear; the fear of what might happen if we break the rules. If we are really under the thumb of our inner critic, we will strongly believe that everything it says is true, and we will spend our lives unable to live the life of our dreams and even with a low sense of self esteem if it is extremely judgmental.
How do we free ourselves from this inner voice, and allow ourselves to live as the person we truly are?
You can start by choosing not to believe that inner critic any more.
OK – that sounds far too easy! I bet the minute you read that, your little voice got very loud and dominant!
The voice will not allow you to get rid of it that easily. The very idea of choosing not to listen to it will create a whole new set of fears and reasons why you should. We have invested a great deal of time listening to our little voice; we have fed and watered it and it has become strong.
Freeing yourself from your inner voice takes time and determination, but by consistently choosing not to believe everything that it says, and choosing to believe new sets of rules that will work more positively for you, you will weaken its power over time.
Be aware of what your voice is saying and then question its logic. It may tell you that you are no good at public speaking, and then throw up a load of evidence to back its claims. But wait, before you give in, don’t you have some evidence to the contrary? What if you told yourself instead, that you are good at public speaking? Don’t you think that over time this would increase your confidence?
Our subconscious does not know the difference between what is real and what isn’t. It will believe whatever you tell it. So instead of allowing your inner critic to rule the house, take charge and start your own inner best friend that will nurture, like you and look after you.
Written by: Emma Fredericks, author of “How to Tame That Voice in Your Head” – http://answersabouthearingvoices.com
