Stop Negative Thoughts (That Voice in Your Head!) and Change the Way You Feel
Think about a time when you felt very worried or upset about something, and then after a few days or weeks, discovered that it didn’t matter after all. What made the difference? Perhaps you talked it over with someone and they put a different perspective on the matter. Whatever happened, somehow you started to think differently about it, and when you stopped your negative thoughts, you began to feel differently.
The funny thing is that the basic situation did not change – it was just your thoughts about it that did. This demonstrates a very interesting phenomenon: that it is how we think about something, and the way we perceive it, that affects how we feel about it.
What happens is that our little inner voice has taken a negative turn on something, and is chattering away to us in our heads, giving us all the reasons why this situation is bad or wrong, that we should or shouldn’t have done something, or they should or shouldn’t have done something, or telling us that nothing good will come of it. On it goes, yada yada yada. And then, Whoosh! Someone will come along with a different perspective and you see it in a whole new light.
The way we respond to events, the times when someone lets us down, or we make a mistake, or something didn’t work the way we wanted it, very largely depends on how we think about those events. What we think very much affects how much we get upset, whether that’s in the form of anger, anxiety, stress or sorrow.
We are very good at making ourselves feel very miserable! And it’s all down to our negative self talk – the voice in our heads that sits up there and judges our every action, or, for that matter, everyone else’s.
We are constantly interpreting what happens, what someone says or our situations through the filter of that little voice, and quite often what it perceives as the truth, really has no basis in reality and does not work for us.
Of course, our inner voice can be helpful. It can remind us that we need to work on that report or to phone a friend. On the other hand, quite often it is self-defeating, negative stuff that tells us we’re going to fail, or that we’re hopeless at math. It causes us to feel upset, have low self esteem, low confidence, anxiety or frustration. It perpetuates self-fulfilling prophecies and then uses them for evidence against you: ‘You’re going to fail that exam’, ‘There’s no way you can pass’, ‘See? You failed’. Then the next time: ‘You failed last time, what makes you think you’ll pass this time?’
The best way of stopping your negative thoughts is by catching them when you have them. Recognize that you are having a negative thought, and then become objective about it. Talk to it if you like: ‘Well, that may be your opinion, but who says it’s the truth? I’m going to choose a more positive thought.’
Once you recognize that your negative thoughts are not the truth, they will immediately start to lose their power. Get into the habit of catching them when you have them, and you will be on the way to being in control of how you feel.
You may not be able to completely stop negative thoughts, but you can certainly stop them from having the same power over you that they once had. Just remember that they are not the truth, they are merely thoughts
